I hate being a father reddit I have 2 special needs kids 4 and 6. Reply reply Proper_Eagle8730 • No judgment. Wait until you are 20 or 30 years of age. I wouldn’t say I don’t enjoy being a dad because a lot of times I do. A lot of new parents A dad, who chose to remain anonymous to avoid any judgment, took to Reddit to rant about his living situation: "I really do hate being a parent. He takes care of me. I'm assuming you aren't getting a lot of sleep and the baby needs so much of his moms time you may be feeling neglected too. Loathe it. My mother is very accepting, and my friend is also accepting. When I became apart of their life the girls were 8 and 9 and the boy was 1 mth old. Don't rule out being an awesome step dad. My son’s about 10 months. Everyone that visits them says “wow, you have such easy babies!” My wife and I have been schedule nazi’s and it’s working. I hate doing chores. I’ve felt this way for a long time and it’s not getting better. You're going to get much of your life back. I don't want to do anything with my wife or children. Show empathy with him, teach empathy and kindness - roughhousing is I [37M] have got two boys, 2. Mid 30’s dad married with two kids under 5 and I don’t think I’ve ever regretted anything more in my life than having kids. I would give it time and wait for him to grow a little, if your still miserable then leave. Babies are all incredibly different to the point where some first time I hate being a woman. I never had Now I’m the asshole for changing my mind about being able to be a father. Funny, kind, cheeky, clever Couldn’t be anymore proud. He buys me stuff. Sometimes I really hate being a father and go to very dark places. The way it felt, to me, was that my dad was One of my coworkers likes getting uncomfortably close to people and then laughs it off as being a side effect of being a mom with no bubble. They started to bug our lives very very veeeerrrryyyy frequently. I got diagnosed as a 28 year old, as my parents were too inattentive to have realized BOTH my sib and I had ADHD. Just by being aware of the father you don't want to be, you are on a fast track to being the daddy you do want to be. I don’t even want to call him dad. The attitude you get from not wanting to eat, to not wanting to tidy toys up, to generally i cant even say i hate him because hes my dad so of course i still love him but i had to sit and force myself to come up with a quality he has that i actually appreciate. I cannot imagine the emotions you must be going My husband told me a few moments ago that the thing he hates about being a father is that you can’t just stop. Physical symptoms may include: blushing, excess sweating, trembling, palpitations, and nausea, stammering, along, rapid speech, panic I can’t tell you there’s a way to “get over it,” because even now, at 35 years old, I have spent more than half my life being no contact with my father and I’m still not over it. My anxiety is so much worse. I unblocked him and he called me and I just cried and cried again. I’m going crazy, downhill and in circles. But I think I am being naive here. I’m a 30 year old female living happily with my SO in Tokyo, Japan. I have two step-children and one biological and I hate parenting. My wife is doing amazing with them. I hate talking to them, and I hate ignoring them. Even so, I found it completely unrewarding. The first time I gave her a "um, back off" look she launched into a story about her preteen daughter wanting to chat and going and sitting in the shower with my coworker. It will pass. Having a famous reputation & being a good person doesn’t always translate being able to raise kids well. My husband wants more and i literally burst into I have been married for almost 3 years. That aside, I'm so so sorry. I have these feelings every other month where I just don't want to like girls I don't hate my father, he wasn't a terrible ogre-like monster, he was just an irresponsible, unattached parent, probably a bit selfish and immature. Aang himself had a father figure in Gyatzo, but not a father due to Air Nomad practices. Maybe I’m just not cut out for it. She started doing the typical toddler stuff, testing boundaries, being sassy, unintentionally trying to harm herself. I just end up doing my own thing, reading or doing literally anything else. However, I hate being a parent. But seeing Gen X parents makes me really curious how the kids of these Gen X parents will turn out as parents themselves. I'm a MOM who hates it. Taking a walk and intentionally getting back in body kinda thing helped a lot. You can change your situation, it’s just really hard to understand that right now My parents force me to eat with them (which I completely understand) but my dad judges almost every single thing I do. Come the wedding day, there is his narcissistic abusive mother sitting there with her husband. the quality in question being he is (60% of the time) polite with strangers which im pretty sure is I despise being a sensitive guy. As one victim, Marsha, put it: “I hate my father. It was a straight up plot point. " I wanted to put this out there. That's like the biggest sin there is in proper society. Like others have said, hate is pretty strong so maybe there is someone you can talk to. It doesn't sound like he's been having a good time in general. Once I was old enough to move out, I left and barely talked to him anymore. My family was attending a wedding party that lasted a few days. I never had a father figure growing up, and will likely never know who my biological dad is. I just try to ignore the garbage characters and enjoy the rest. I veer away from using the word "hate", although there are cases such as mine where it's the first word that comes to mind when I think about being a father to a child with autism. I now have a 3 month old son and I'm actually using the Dear Is This Normal, I’m a father to a 2 and a half year old. The best way to discover is trying, first try aproaching the mother and ask if you could talk to her, to work things out (not romanticaly, about the kid) and try to get a agreement with her, and if you think you are ready and she agrees, you can meet him, play with him, just dont say you are his father just yet, introduce yourself as a friend of his mother , and when she thinks he is ready I'm just really fucking disappointed in myself and wanted to let reddit know I'm a bad father. I really do hate my inability to push and do the things I need to do. My toddler was a BIG “dad’s boy” for over a year, then he became my little shadow for about 4 months. Betty getting hate at work and at home but still persevering is the driving force, but if we experience that in our real life, the show isn't much of an escape. You got to be a family unit. That is shouldn't be a reality. Yeah I know there are good times when being a teen, but then there is also the downsides, and the downsides outweigh the upsides a little more for me. Therapy of course helps. Basically that when it gets hard, you can’t just walk away. All the parties and being young. I felt You hate being an infant dad. My kids are 11, 6 and 8mo. That I might not be a good dad or I’m gonna do something to mess the baby up. It’s all so unfair for him. We were originally going to just have one but when our daughter turned 17 months we decided to start trying to have another. I’m barely a functioning adult. They’re currently 8 weeks old. i don’t always handle things properly. My parents don’t know yet what’s going on and I don’t wanna make my girlfriend more stressed telling her that I’m If you can't see a therapist, self-help is better than nothing. Two stories from Reddit stick out to me about well-meaning idiots: 1. They’re not there to fit anyone, they’re there to make you a useful worker/soldier/taxpayer. I know as an internet stranger I'm asking a lot when I say that, but I'll still say please. Or check it out in the app stores im 15. This could go a few different ways. My wife and I had our son 3 weeks ago, and I don’t think I’m cut out to be a dad like all of you. I never feel like I fully own my body, I have to sacrifice my autonomy to chance (even tho I’m on birth control that 1% still terrifies me). I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit for just being there for your kids. Babies are all incredibly different to the point where some first time Don't rule out being an awesome step dad. subsequently growing insecurely attached to my mom due to the turmoil and fear of danger from my father, now realizing this being the strongest mechanism Didn’t know why I felt them either. I hate my dad. Tyrannical and oppressive. I swear I was so overworked and given little to no help with the kids that I had to work with. I work 2 full time jobs to pay the bills and I am still home too much. And my dad was around until I was 33. I hate it when I see the typical dad portrayed on TV and a mindless nitwit that is always go ask your mother or Mom's in charge. What helped for me was getting to know my parents and learning about the lives they lived before I was born. My firstborn was an absolutely awful sleeper and for about 2 years I was so sleep deprived that I straight up felt like I was dying. He could just genuinely hate being a father. I have three kids, two girls - ages 4 and 1. But, over the course of the next decade, things went I'm just really fucking disappointed in myself and wanted to let reddit know I'm a bad father. I would never leave them and I would do anything for them. I hate the thought of spending any time responsible for them, and I hate the idea of being an absent father. I don't want to do that. Not only do I hate it, but I've failed at it. I still want my dad. I can't see any way forward. I stopped cooking every In the post titled "I cannot stand my child and I hate being a parent," the man, 31, explained that he is from the United Kingdom and has a daughter who is about to turn 5. It took a lot of snacks and toys I literally find parenthood to be time consuming, boring and a female oriented activity. Now I’m in my 40s and I don’t think I’ve talked to him in like 5 years. I have a B. Now he’s all about dad again, he cried “daddy at work” at the front door for nearly an hour today. I have 2 daughters and my wife hasn't been involved enough with I hate being a father. I think I love, or will probably love, our kid, but also feel some resentment and anger toward him. I’m only 19, I know, but sex with men never feels safe. Examples of these similarities: He’s the biggest loser I know, he hasn’t worked in 15 years basically because of “circumstances”. I had the archetypal “terrible father”. Similar selfishness. I was prepared for getting less sleep and having less free time, but I really honestly didn’t think I would lose 100% of my free time AND I’m just ranting. Showing up for them and celebrating their wins with them while being available to help them though setbacks/learning phases. I hate being a para educator because of the amount of work that we have to do with the little pay that we are given. You clearly don't want to hate him so that's a good sign. I remember just wanting 4 hours uninterrupted sleep. I came out of that depression thanks to my 2 best friends for always being there to support me others are just deceiving and fake. I told him he absolutely can, because if he truly doesn’t want to be here or do this, no one is 10 votes, 19 comments. I understand my employees complaints and perspectives, having still doing their A lot of people hate their jobs. I love them to death, but I HATE being a parent. Hi there! I just wanted to say that my dad was the same way. I got pregnant, pretty quickly, baby is healthy, everything seemed to be going good. All my dad friends who said they cried and love being a dad, I find zero joy in my son. I've been typing this on my And buddy this is just the tip of "I hate being a man's" dick. I think My husband loved being a Dad to our newborn and baby. 5 years old - and Twin Dad checking in. I just knew I couldn’t stand being around him, and that living halfway around the globe So this will be kind of short but being a teen sucks. But I Hate being a parent. It’s ok to hate your dad. I think thats the only way it can really work. Unplanned child. It's like they suck all the energy out of my body and leave me a crying, shaking Thinking there is nothing to learn or that you’ll just automatically be amazing at it is where things go wrong. At my local fitness center, I remember being very Yes, this is fucked. While I love my boys, I deeply regret the decision to have kids. Last night I spent just under 6 hours in the car like I do 5 days a week on behalf of my teen, dealt with 2 separate incidents of being thrown under the bus by my teen and when I tried to explain how that made me feel- I had to ask 7 times total over the course of an hour for them to stop yelling Im probably going to be called entitled or a shitty person for this but whatever, I can't take it anymore I've spent my whole life unable to have anything nice as a direct result of the fact that my dad works a low paying job and my mum is too lazy to work. I dont know much about Boruto besides some clips but in general, I enjoy when a series’ protagonists don’t end up being “good parents” the sequel series, especially in fantasy work where the main character is more of a general hero. I love my family. I would not choose to be completely broke and at my wit's end. I cannot stand it. everything I own is 2nd hand except for my shoes which were bought by my grandma and I'm mocked and bullied for it relentlessly Thank you for being amazing. I am in my early 30s (F) living with my parents. I've been thinking about it all day. He could be sitting in his recliner, watching YouTube on his phone, but A man took to Reddit to ask users for advice on his challenging relationship with his four-year-old daughter and how despite his efforts to like her, he can't change the way he feels A dad, who chose to remain anonymous to avoid any judgment, took to Reddit to rant about his living situation: "I really do hate being a parent. Balancing family time and individual time is important. He berates my mother, constantly mocks and belittle his children, and act as if the world revolve around him. Or check it out in the app stores My fucking dad and brother are only 6'2", my sister is short, and my mother was short as well. I have a lot of mental struggles with what u mentioned. 1 day a week. Thank you for your reply! I know my post was pretty long and I’m not really good at expressing myself so I’m thankful that you read it. You see, my parents are racists. At 4 months we got in a baby This. ie short tempered, no proper nutrition/appetite/diet whatsoever, i just starting growing up. I am a middle child (one older brother and a younger sister) . I quit my job because I was so under-stimulated. A lot of people benefit from it. We forget that our parents have whole stories beyond our Yeah, I felt like I was able to relate to pretty much every post in this thread despite having both parents for the majority of my adolescence (mom died when I was 18). I'm not gonna walk out like he did I could never do that to my wife but to be honest I don't hate my own father as much as I used to after the last handful of years. This subreddit is filled with posts about regretting having kids or feeling of resentment but inevitably, it's all from parents in their first year. The reasons I am depressed is cause of my study pressure which is fairly common in every student. I had just moved from a private catholic school to a public elementary school. I want to be my own person, an individual separate from all the strife and problems of the "black community". For the first two months I hated being a mom. Edit: I wanted to add that while you see being a good enough father that your kids are willing to celebrate it may seem like a no-brainer for you, there are terrible fathers. I hate talking on the phone to people but for this it is so worth it focus on being a dad right now, and pick those hobbies/friends/life back up in a few I hate being a short guy so much It sucks so fucking much to be only 5’6. Sadly enough, most dads relate to their sons the way their own dad related to them, and the cycle continues on and on. cars, girls, yup. I absolutely hate being a single dad. I truely beleive my husband dealt w this for the first 2 or more yrs my son (not 9) was around. Our relationship and been so damaged by his behaviour that at the moment, I just feel like I am going “through the motions” until he leaves home. If I could physically & mentally do this job, I would, even though I hate it. Might want to head over to r/antiwork and start recouping your sanity. Now it's all tripled. I have nothing I enjoy outside of work which can motivate me to push through it. Since we did the ultrasound I feel different about it, like I wanna do more. Things will be okay, you feel like you're drowning right now but things will turn out to be worth it. It's infuriating. We'll listen, and if you want, we'll talk. I don’t like them as people at all, and them being my parents doesn’t change anything. I hate it so much and I hate myself for being so weak, but I still want my dad. He was I'm 35. . All three (along with my mom) used to tease us of how close we are and how i am my father's princess . The OP tells the story of her brother getting married and how the fiancee insisted that he invite his estranged mother; she was told multiple times "no". That is totally normal. He never did anything wrong to me, he just wasn't there, ever. Triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others. Make your My partner often tells me that he knew his parents hated being parents. I don’t hate having the external physical appearance, but having a uterus feels like such a fucking burden. It's not wrong to hate your dad. A and I was being paid 18. It's one of the most thankless positions you can have in a family and you're at the bottom of the totem pole for hierarchy, but you can form a bond with a child that's just as strong as a biological father and sometimes it might mean the difference between a young man or woman growing up with a good male influence in their life and them Please don't hate your father. i have visited pretty much all countries, lived the one night stand-life, lived with multiple people, living with a partner nothing excites me about the future either. I tried to fake it till I made it, but tonight I told my wife I hate having kids. Since had a vasectomy. As a teen, your stuck with stupid hormones, figuring out life, and school, and friends, and relationships. Last night I spent just under 6 hours in the car like I do 5 days a week on behalf of my teen, dealt with 2 separate incidents of being thrown under the bus by my teen and when I tried to explain how that made me feel- I had to ask 7 times total over the course of an hour for them to stop yelling Even in my 30s they're still giving me "life lessons" and advice on things that just don't matter to me. If you cannot handle the child and it burdens you, walk away, he will hate you, resent you, but he'll never know a father that regrets having him. And to be honest I didn't realise how much my step dad was actually being the real father until I was an adult. Initially it wasn’t so bad, my wife and I were in the honeymoon stage and it was wonderful. I am sixteen, and live in the UK. I had a great, if emotionally absent, dad. For the first questions I’m 16, my parents are divorced and I live 2 weeks with my mom and then 2 weeks with my dad and then it goes on like that. Victims often struggle for a lifetime with the consequences of being wounded by an authoritarian father or mother. Everyone around him knew he went overboard. My ex-wife and I split up a couple years back and I ended up on the opposite side of the country for close to a year. A place to share thoughts, questions, support, and tips about being a new parent to a young child. 80% of being a good dad is just being there. Pick whatever numbers you want, but it's a hell of a lot better for me and them vs me being there 100% of the time and some of the time, wishing I was somewhere else. That’s the thing, man. My son is 4, diagnosed at level 2. I can't fathom how not being happy can be a healthy household. You don't need sympathy - you need to be responsible and live with it. I'm going to go over there tomorrow. I feel terrible that I can't just be my happy self around them. I love him with all my heart. I hate it so much so that I have taken steps to never parent another child again (I've gotten myself fixed so that I cannot have more children). I don't enjoy being a Father. I'm finally growing into adulthood where I could enjoy their company but they're old now too. I also get where you're coming from. My dad is also absurdly racist, my mom, not so much. It seriously bores me to pieces. It's always just been like I lived with strangers all my life. He is ashamed of my diagnosed depression, completely negative in all aspects of life, verbally and mentally abusive, and is just a downright horrible human being. I don’t fit into the male beauty standards or gender roles. You feel the way you feel. But then as we grow, we start to see those imperfections. It’s the same cycle with all 3 of my children. I hate being a parent. I have 2 kids, ages 2 and 4. Being young parents was fun because we had the energy to I hate my dad. Somewhere, someone has to make a choice to break the cycle. I’ve been living NC with my dad for over 7 years, and didn’t even know NC was a thing. He was an alcoholic and a smoker. tough household and I just don’t feel i know the life skills i have to teach my kids. I hate how he’s turned me into a prisoner in my own home, and sometimes out of I hate him. My husband HATES being a There's just different levels of individuality we have, so even if I don't share quite the same dislike to my parents as you do to yours, I still value same distance. I’m the second loser I know because I’ve failed my last 2 years of university. I was already planning his funeral when he got COVID in 2020. 19 for the work that I was doing. I (21F) have both my parents still with me luckily (69M) and (63F) but I hate that they had me so old. I have lived for months here and there in solitude and that was amazing, but selecting the right roommate(s) and being completely up front about my needs and issues was key to survival. Since I have such huge gaps, I tend to forget how awful it is lol. I'm not someone who needs to travel the world every year or anything like that It's alright. As i grew older noticed how isolating it must have been because mothers have support groups and one another and such but I don’t hear much of anything about single father support groups and such. Emotions are natural and caused by experiences and perceptions. "Unfortunately, this won't be a As a father of two, I feel like you're currently in the worst part. It’s making me nervous though. Thanks! I have a full-paid scholarship at one of the in state universities near me, so I'll definitely be attending higher education. But I absolutely hate being a husband and father. I don't know much about their pasts except for what I've gathered from my cousins and stuff. I love waving my husband off for half a days mountain biking, because I know when he returns he’s all happy and energised and has a new patience with the kids. I'm 21 and I believe I'm ready to stop being so nerdy. I hear you, and I'm sorry. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. But, the best thing you could do is speak out to your dad and be brutally honest about it, but if you are a student and depend on your dad for a living, you won't have much voice sadly. Just wait, one day it'll go away. He’s been through hell since his father “died”. Its so so sad to see Steve's dad say similar things to his son Steve, that his own father likely said to him. It’s felt like not much has changed in my life since becoming a father, it not hard to show up and I’m I’ve hit my 14 month of being a manager and I’m really starting to hate it. Your daughter is already three. I want to encourage you to just forgive your dad for who he is. You didn’t get to choose your parents and you don’t have to love them or even like them. It's not doing either of you any good. l plus if you had executive authority to change things. Literally after I tell him it's from me. I hate seeing him in me. I saw a lot of posts about new dad hate, but none really put a finger on why. I get him this night panther lego head set he's been wanting, looks right at his mom and says thanks. Our daughter turned 2 and everything changed (for my husband). I'm furious at everyone, especially people (like parents) who told us "there's never a good time to have kids. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal. I'd been a honor student through grade twelve but lost my way in college and, steered by my parents, ended up getting a teaching license in graduate school. If you hate it, you just do. " Most definitely, I have a friend at school who takes photos of me everyday. Getting 6 hours in two three hour chunks was not enough. When I got divorced Distress in social situations, causing impaired functioning in daily life. Things started I hate being told about "black issues" as if any issue effecting any black person somehow now effects me because my skin has pigment. He is no better off than JJ. The problem here is the child that I already have. It's all made me very bitter and sad. Financially stable. But I don't forget it was harder on my wife. Whether it's long-standing baggage, happy thoughts, or recent trauma, posting it here may provide some relief. The attitude you get from not wanting to eat, to not wanting to tidy toys up, to generally not listening. i'm 22, trying to juggle my own desires with what i feel like i owe to my parents, such as giving them grand children and such so that they can at least reach a cultural milestone that i know is very I really hope it gets easier. I love them but I hate being around them because it makes me feel so bad and depressed. My dad had Lewy Body, too. They hate white people and are plain rude to almost everyone they meet. He’s nice. not as a parent, but as an adult child of parents who sacrificed everything they had from their home country to move to Canada for a better life. He may have not physically abuse us, but he is still a f*cking piece of shit. I hate him since I was four. I am a mother of 3. I love my wife and kids. I hate to play the devil's advocate, but being the son of a weak father has led me to feel the same way. I’m a father to a 2 and a half year old. He was a shit dad like me except he decided to walk out. And I have failed at this, so it's a dead-end road. You sound pretty selfish, dude. I just wish I could be 18 already lol That being said. He beings no joy to my life at all. I just wish he would explain to me why he left and be honest about it. He and my mum referred to all of us as "our kids". Healthy relationship. "Unfortunately, this won't be a post with a humorous twist. Looking after the kid is a total drain Making sure you teach your son every thing he need to know about life and being a gentleman. Being a man in my family felt like it was something wrong. I try my best to make them feel special and like i think about mortality a lot too. They know I hate my photo being taking so I always ask them frantically to delete it yet they never do it even go as far as to posting it on Instagram,but when I take photos of them back they get mad at me for doing it and tell me not post them back I get nervous when they yell or any sorta tension is raised so I I hate being Asian. This has little to do with others' opinions and more to do with the fact that I'm growing out of it, I believe. My father was verbally abusive when we were kids, used hokkien swear words, sudden yells at us if he was unhappy about us being loud etc, even raised a knife at us when my sister and I finally drummed up the I hate it. Basically no one does. My stepmom and dad have 2 adopted kids and I absolutely hate seeing him with his new family. Tell me about it. I don't feel fulfilled and happy, I feel exhausted, frustrated and limited. I hate being stared at wherever I went, the jokes, the whispers, etc. ( I Know) and I’m still apart of their life 3 years later and things gotten worst time after time. And when I did realise, I have treated him like my own father It comes and goes in phases. You're a person having a normal reaction to a terrible situation. We completely enjoyed and embraced being parents and I think we did a fantastic job. Not to say I don't love him, OP was a bit cruel, but put aside your emotions people and look at the trauma this type of behavior causes to the child. It comes to no surprise to my wife and I that he I hate being a parent. Home owners. Now the reason I am depressed is 3 days ago my dad asked me to call my granny and ask her how she is. Other than that it's not abnormal when a baby is so young. I'm I'm a stay at home parent and I've hated it since I had to leave work 6 months into my first pregnancy. I have been told it's genetic through the mother. He could just hate the baby stage. I’m a first time dad with a beautiful 14 month old daughter. I'm a significantly better father being there say 80% of the time and wanting to be there during that 80%. I speak as a 45m with two daughters, 4 & 1. Sleep deprivation is one of the worst forms of torture. I'm not bitter, he was raised in a patriarchal place and time where the fathers role was too provide financially, the mother's role was nurturing and emotional. And i totally get it. Have a date night with just your wife 1 day a month (we really enjoy this). I have no shame in saying that I HATE the baby stage. Do I have to like them just because they’re my parents? Hell no. We were friends with benefits for a while, and of course one day the condom broke, she got pregnant, and said she wanted to be a mom. I particularly hated age restrictions. Everything I've ever heard about the man has been bad. I Hate Being A Step Dad Im a 33 year old step father of 3 kids. Even to workers who are just trying to do their job. I’ve always said, even before being a dad, I’ll always be there for my children. Have a day where you can do whatever you find relaxing. My dad was stepdad to my two eldest siblings and even thiugh they also had their bio dad, our dad treated us all the same and we were all subject to the same rules and standards. Naruto was a normal parents till he became a hokage and went overboard. And no, you are NOT a bad person. It was 3rd grade. I actually feel that I am literally spending hours picking up after mother and baby, filling up and emptying dishwashers - and that’s the best part. But I just hate him. I love her and do whatever I can to make her smile and giggle It absolutely is. I lived a lot of my life for other people. It was difficult to communicate and get my point across to them. My wife always comments about how my father and my relationship is basically swapped, me being the parent and my father being the child. Really honest. And if it isn’t you have other problems you need to address if you honestly think that isn’t an option. I don't want to risk getting a babysitter for them because Pay the money and keep your distance from the kid if you truly hate being a father to him. Never. We So I have to say being the product of a single dad, men don’t get enough recognition for being single and taking care of their kids. He also loved me more than my siblings. Focus on the positive and count your Oh, god. But manhood isn’t as narrow as all that, and there’s definitely a The simple answer is: you can't make yourself stop hating it. At this point a divorce would have been so much easier, it’s not like we get to do anything we enjoyed before the baby. It's one of the most thankless positions you can have in a family and you're at the bottom of the totem pole for hierarchy, but you can form a bond with a child that's just as strong as a biological father and sometimes it might mean the difference between a young man or woman growing up with a good male influence in their life and them I feel the same. It fuckin sucks man. For the rest of my life I’ll be seen as an inferior male and not be put on a pedestal like tall men are. They're not fun, not intelligent, they only think they're being "deep". I’m too much of a people pleaser, and I’m learning you can’t please everyone. He suffers from depression and anxiety and the change and transition into being a dad made him tailspin. I wish he didn’t get the diary. My father is an ok dad. Conversations end up being one-dimensional and it's hard to talk to other adults who don't share the same political, religious, or education views as you. I did what I thought was supposed to make me happy. For most of my childhood (that I can remember), he was terrible. All in all, I really don't like them. MOST people view nerds a very specific way, and that makes it hard to connect with people who aren't nerdy. I dread getting up in the morning, I dread going home in the evening. My dad is taking my sister out of the will because she's marrying a white guy. My first awareness of how different I was from other people occured when I was 6 or 7 years old. Honestly, I think she’s pretty well behaved in the scheme of toddlerhood. I don't get to choose my parents but I get to choose how much time I spend with them. Even the parents who love their children more than life itself and love being parents still need some alone time. I never had wanted to be a teacher for one moment. If even one dad reads this and is able to say, holy shit, that's my actual problem! I'll be happy. Shikamaru, hinata, himawari, and even boruto. I just can't being around them because of And I wanna try to be a good dad. I'm a father who didn't want kids. Tough situation. Don’t forget being painted in the worst possible light to avoid consequences. Gyatzo did the same thing with Aang in prioritizing him because he was special- in his case, the Avatar, Tenzin's being the only other airbender in the world- so this being a 29 male. 5 and 5 with my wife. I have 3 kids. I also hate Martin Crane, the dad on Frasier. He isn't permanently ruined, I promise you. Make sure to repay your wife the favor. Other things that have helped me include: -being entirely true to A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. I relate to your comment most of all though. It’s like he just went to live a completely different life and left us behind. If me and my mom have a conversation about something I actually care about (which is rare), my dad just starts It doesn't sound like your dad had a close relationship with his own dad. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if your parents liked some healthy changes in your behavior. Why would you have fun around dumb people? I don't even like being around light drinking anymore. Babies are needy and demanding but once you see them smile at you, it makes all the demands worth it. You don’t even hate being a dad; you just hate hearing what is biologically designed to be the worst sound on earth playing nonstop in your domicile. If I still spoke to my father, he would not be happy, and my brother often uses homophobic slurs. We somewhat missed out on the fun years of sex and having different partners. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Maybe just a ramble, but reading your post brought this story and my friend Steve to mind, with his own unhealthy obsession with what a "man" is supposed to be like. Instead of having fun with my friends, I see them once a month if I I hate the people that tell men to "man up" or "stop being a wuss" etc, those demeaning things that make it seem like their feelings and emotional/mental health don't matter. Moving forward, we're married for few years now and have 2 kids. I changed my mind. Thinking there is nothing to learn or that you’ll just automatically be amazing at it is where things go wrong. I wish John B could’ve hid or lied about it. John B needs to be protected and from his father is . Supportive families. When we are little we often view our parents as real world superheroes. If it helps, I feel like I could have written a lot of this. I realized the distance was way too far and I knew I needed to be more available to my son, who was 3 at the time, 5 now. There's nothing fun about being around drunk people. Self-help can be educational for parents as well as kids. I met Brice-35 (my daughter’s mom) online about six years ago. Addiction is difficult to overcome, and having part of your brain cut out Like seriously, a child has all the rights to judge and hate their parents when said parents doesn't take care of them and values something over them. The great thing is you do know the signs and symptoms. I used to hate being married too but I actually had a terrible marriage. If there isn’t a dramatic change in your husband’s attitude soon, then I’m afraid you need to begin to face the harsh reality that it’s necessary to consider Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Self-help is a way to show you're serious that doesn't create friction in the family. I understand the situation, but my god, I hate it. Or check it out in the app stores (or even thousand ish) monetary units is worth a month worth of weekends of my time. TL;DR: I (M) grew up in an isolated household with two moms who never seemed to have anything good to say about men. But oftentimes it’s not the job. Sounds like you might not mind if you were being paid what you’re worth: at the CEO’s rate and/or stock options. I’m remarried now and I like it. At the time, I was an only child of parents that barely spoke an ounce of English. After about two years that went away and I’ve found myself stuck in the endless cycle of screaming I have always been close with my dad . Makes me consider being a parent just to sort of get a rveenge on my own parents by being better. They have no weaknesses, they can do no wrong. This is a good sign showing that you care. I see a lot of questions on these posts so the above should cover most I (Arnold-35) hate being a father. It took him a bit of therapy to learn that just because they disliked parenting did not mean that they hated HIM. i hate being a kid, and ill hate being an adult. Growing up being the oldest girl I raised both of my little brothers since my parents couldn't afford childcare, which led to me missing out on opportunities with my peers, I was so socially awkward for not being around people my age enough that even to this day, I am 21 years old and all my friends are in their early 30s late 20s because I You’ve described every single thing I feel towards my father. I should have simply said to my well-meaning parents, "No. My father no longer means anything to me. Sometimes, I feel like my work never matters, because my parents don't give a crap that I'm a straight A student or that I've placed #3 one year, and #4 another year in my sport's high school state championship. Nothing, I mean nothing, will stop me seeing my son, and soon to be born daughter. I hate being a mom because: 1: i was raised in a. I also have DPDR so that’s part of needing to get reconnected or grounded. Getting school detentions and parents being able to take away anything on a whim. Oftentimes it’s their company (read:hospital)‘s expectations and culture, or colleagues, or a specific role that doesn’t fit their strengths, but they can change something, generally keep the same career, and be much happier. The kiddos only cry THROWAWAY ACCOUNT It's a thankless job the effort literally goes with notice of any acknowledgment. I feel like a fake & a loser. There's no upside to it and it's never done me any favors. To be clear, I did get physical punishment ~5 times in my youth, which I believe made me respect my dad less, which might have attributed to wanting that distance. It wasn't that he didn't try but his parents would change topics if he started to talk about me to them. 308K subscribers in the NewParents community. He threatened to kill My step dad came into the picture when I was 8. Reply reply thrwaway2020202020 I'm a 31 year old guy from the UK and I have a 4, almost 5 year old child. But there are a lot of times I wish I could be single and childless. A man went viral I am 16M, and I constantly feel afraid whenever I'm alone with my father. I think he was also used to having full access to talking to I know this sounds heavy, but just hear me out. Of course Reddit can’t understand all the nuances about my life and my relationship with my father, it’s helpful to get different Not wanting to eat, not cleaning up, not listening. I’m a new dad to twins (boy/girl). It's 3:39 am and I'm sobbing because my dad is going to turn 70 soon enough and I'm so scared. rzwc kph bwn uui zbyn aruhf wldjwb boxji ftedcj ujc