I want to be a dad reddit. Edit: Thank you for the attention .

I want to be a dad reddit By the rest, it looks like you just want to do less than the bare minimum while dumping all the actual parenting work on someone else. I personally would assume that she would love you for agreeing to her partner and the father of the kids she wants. Your issue is a bit beyond the scope of what reddit can help solve, in my opinion. In my neighborhood alone, there's a golf cart group where they fix up and resell tricked out carts, there's a Frisbee golf, regular golf, fishing, etc groups. You don't want to be a father, you want to be an extra child for a woman to take care of, with some pet kids. I don't see how you can tell a 14 year old boy not to call you "Dad" because you don't want to be his Dad and co-exist amicably as a "family" at all. There’s lots of things you can read and career wise lots you could plan for the future but for me most of being a dad is the ultimate figure it out as you go experience. I liked having kids young, but financially we would have been better off waiting. Your feeling are valid. He cares about me. These girls deserve a real father figure, who can be in their life and support and love them the way they need. If you're not my child, then shut it. Most guys are going to want to be on the younger side while they have a little one, though, so the closest guesstimate I can give is "by your early 40's". Be the man you aspire to be, be the dad you want to be, and be the husband she needs you to be. He asks how I'm doing once a week or so, he invites me to the restaurant once a month because he knows I'm dirt poor. So the relationship between father and son is always complex but at the end of the day your father loves you no matter what. He and my mum referred to all of us as "our kids". After all, my dad wasn't exactly great. I’ve always said if I end up like one of my dads smack me. He's also very controlling. Your child will fart in their sleep. I've never wanted to be a father, and while I know in my heart that it's because I want to travel the world and spend my money on my wife and myself, no small part of me wonders if it's not also partly out of pure spite. Some cats are personable, enjoy attention and hanging out and see humans as their parent / provider. I know a friend of mine and her siblings were raised by her step dad, when her bio mom left her and her step dad for another men and her bio dad didn't want nothing to do with her or his other children. Not like he was bad exactly, but definitely My dad is the typical Dad boomer, that believes in "work hard" rather than "work smart". I would make a large wager that a controlling stepmom is behind this, and is emotionally manipulating dad in order to keep you out of the house and your dad's life. After having kids and a family I finally realised how much my father did and sacrificed and how little we thank him or even realized what he was doing. Like I said at the beginning, knowing where you do not want to be is the first (and most important) step to being the man/dad/husband you can be. First off it'd a thankless job since few people respect hard working dads. I was raised by a “man” who was the exact opposite of what I am. The business is about water pumps, and other services related to water systems. I don't know what possessed me to have a kid when I knew for years that I want nothing to do with raising children. Your kids are awfully young and close in age, you must be exhausted and it must be trying. The therapy is required to keep the wife able to be loving and supportive. I want to be a better dad than my “dad” ever was. You probably made her feel threatened by the influence you had over you dad, so she has been slowly poisoning him against you. It's a bit of a mental gate to go from I need to take care of me, to I need to be able to provide for my family and what I feel is a good father. My Mom stayed because she didn't want us growing up without him but we would have been better off. I hate how he’s turned me into a prisoner in my own home, and sometimes out of frustration, I just wish my kid would be gone from my life. I want to add 2 things. The main ideas I have are kinda nerdy, so here's some normal ish ones: think about baby names, daydream about what a wedding would be like, your dream house, how many kids you want, and maybe a family pet as well. Or maybe you leave. Most of the practical advice goes right down the drain in the chaos but having an intuitive understanding of how you want to parent takes some of the mental load off making decisions. You don't have to be. Ever since my wife asked for the divorce, I have developed this depression that makes me not want to be a dad anymore. I am 35 and made 3 dad friends in the past 6-8 months since my 1. I know my dad wants to be a good father, even though we don't live together anymore. But then I got married to a guy who definitely doesn't want kids, and that door slammed shut again. Now for context I have 5 dads (bio, adopted dad, one who raised me till I was 4, one who raised me till I was 17, and two step-dads) The one who raised me at first till I was 4 is an druggie and an alcoholic, the second one who raised me till I was 17 is a pedo and decided after a natural disaster that he would stalk my room and put My closest friend is 35, his father chose to bow out in the early days much like you’re intending due to similar reasons, and despite having a bad ass mother who did the best she could for him and having a step father in later years - this guy still reduces to tears every father’s Day, has a seriously unhealthy distrust toward relationships My father is in army. Some reddits I read were Am I ready to be a dad, or similar, which implicates that OPs already knew they wanted to be a dad. Sounds like you're experiencing a case of baby fever. I value my free time to much and I don't want to give up activities I couldn't do until my child would be old enough to do them with me. my dad had me when he was 40 and it was kind of disappointing as i became a teen and he was in his mid 50's - I'd be wanting to kick a ball around but he was out of shape and having knee problems. But, otherwise, I feel great about stay at home dads. I’ve been a single dad for 6 years with 60+ percent custody and can handle doing it all while working 50 hours a week. Finally, you not having a Dad does not have to constitute a negative thing as far as you being a Dad. My dad used to hit my brother and I when we were younger, my parents divorced when I was in first grade. I want you the best and for your needs to be met, and although it would be very safe and comforting to have that be a father figure to confide in, it appears thats not whats available now. Nah must be lust. I grew up with 2 brothers and we always gravitate to mom for everything. . The other day I asked myself what I want and what came to me was so easy, it was a picture of my future child running to me so excited to see me with this big goofy grin and laying on a couch behind them was my dog watching over them. Having said that, you really do want to 'have' to want to be a father. Being a dad looks tough, tiring and sometimes long but also looks extremely rewarding. So I don't want to make it sound as if it was easy-peasy. I had already kinda known before my mom had them (when I was 11) that I didn’t want kids and by the time I was 14, I was actively saying I didn’t want kids - and at the time, I had a lot of help watching them. Dream of what you want life to look like with each other moving forward. If you're young (and you likely are), life insurance is dirt cheap. Some people stay really active but most guys do not want to be trying to keep up with a 7 yeat old in their 50's, ya I don't want to be my dad. Best you can get to is want it, can afford it and have the time to invest. 5 year old so he’s getting some experience ahead of time. We have two boys, 3 and 1, and they’re pretty rad. Hopefully, I can help you figure out where to begin your “dad journey. Hey, just for starters, I’m 18 and currently serving in the US Army. Just be a good person and get ready to be an amazing parent. Seeing her has made me realize that I'm going to love my baby more than life itself and I'll try my best never to do anything to make my kid grow up and say, "Ugh, I hate you, dad!" Moreover the fun of having a child with the woman you love is something I can not even begin to fathom. He's posted in some other state. It will be Hello I am a 23 (f) that’s cut all contact with my father. Make sure, around the time that your expecting, that your home is clean. We love each other and continue to grow stronger in our relationship. We can all afford kids, we just don't want to deprive ourselves or lower our living standards that it requires. Mom will resent it, kid will be crushed, and they will be right. You both need new coping mechanisms, and a new communication schema. Hi daddit crew! My husband will be a new dad shortly and his birthday is coming up. I let it go. I know you don’t want to miss out on games but you really don’t want to miss out on your baby growing. I want a marriage. Maybe she will want to work on things, maybe that could work - maybe not. The key, which you will find, is not to merely do what your father didn’t (or don’t do what your father did), but to define yourself outside of your father’s influence: who do you want to be as a dad and what kind of actions does that entail in every facet of your child’s life? That and, of course, taking fatherhood one day at a time. My "being-a-dad" weeks are busy: school drop-off & pick-up, homework, dinner, playtime (riding bikes or playing kickball or something), then bedtime. Being a father can simultaneously be the greatest feeling in the world and the thing you are terrified most of. Whether it's long-standing baggage, happy thoughts, or recent trauma, posting it here may provide some relief. Damn, I'm with you. Some people stay really active but most guys do not want to be trying to keep up with a 7 yeat old in their 50's, ya It’s the only thing I could spare but I have to tell you it’s not healthy. We're all different and excellent. It can be good or bad, like everything in life it's what you make of it. I eyed her real dad and we both said "oh so that's your kink". Big difference. My wife was in labour for almost 10-12 hours. All of this is normal for a child his age. I have always been the role model father. Honestly, I am not sure. Even worse I’m in the military and I’m soon to be goin to Korea for a year then Germany for 3 years . That’s bottles, diaper changes, late nights/early mornings, shopping, everything. The first week or so is incredibly overwhelming. You have to do what’s best for both of you. Every time I hear my father is coming I get anxious and scared. My "non-dad" weeks are filled with a lot more work, later nights, more girlfriend-time, and a lot of freedom to do pretty much whatever I want with my schedule. Maybe so I can see my dad in Exactly. There’s no shame in saying “ no we don’t want to go through with this”. This is great advice. Kids will so often replicate what they see, so be the person you want them to be — open doors, say please and thank you, smile, be kind to others — and always remember this most important piece of advice: nobody knows what they’re doing. The kids don’t have involvement from their dad, so it seems pretty difficult to have him come in and not have you hold those expectations or the kids to hold them. I want you to know that 3 kids under 3 is a lot for anyone!!! Even if you were really looking forward to having kids and always dreamed of being a dad it would be a lot. 5 years, we buy a ring, we're planning on getting married, truly the man I want to spend forever with. If you want to be a good person and change the behavior you received as a child then that's great!!! I personally don't plan to repeat the mistakes my dad made either. Jun 12, 2019 · We rounded up some pieces of advice the dads of Reddit said no one tells you, but they wished they knew before welcoming a bundle of joy. But you can still take everything one day at a time and one task at a time. All my dad friends who said they cried and love being a dad, I find zero joy in my son. You need to so right by your kids. The second step is to have a serious conversation with your wife. He comes to visit us after every 3-4 months and stays for almost a month with us. Well, that does accurate describe a lot of dudes Hi y’all! I’m decently new to reddit and like to lurk quite a bit. My neighbor ex husband left her because he didn't want to be a parent anymore. Countless children were never planned, but you got the woman pregnant anyway. Yes, this is fucked. Bad fathering is not genetics. These kids changed my view on fatherhood. I’m 32 and my wife is 29. Its ok to break down, to need a bear hug, or to need words of reassurance. Talk to her about how you are struggling, but want to be the best version of yourself for the household. It's entirely personality and determination. One thing that I really wish my father had done was to support MY endeavors more. He is still learning how to human. Wife pregnant, do think I want to be a dad, terrible mental health not helping. He’s a good dad and they need go acknowledge him. I won’t shove it down their throats, but lots of kids enjoy story time. "Love" is thinking that these people getting what they want is important, too, even if it means pushing myself to give more than I've got. Not because of video games but because there’s no time for it with mine and my wife’s work schedule. I started wanting a kid. They'll poop and puke on everything. After dad died, I saw how much my mom needed her kids, and my views just started changing. My wife is pregnant with our first kid, 20 weeks, and I’m in a mood tonight where I’m so freaking excited to be a dad. My question is: Do I want to be a dad? I'll throw some background info and hope that someone can give me a hand. I think his wife should totally help because it sounds like it’s hurting his confidence and self esteem as a parent. Do it! As a dad I can tell you that fathers are under appreciated. ” What did you love that made your life easier, or was fun and exciting when you first became a dad? I already got him a Lalabu dad shirt for My dad would always wait until we pulled the "I want (thing)" instead of actually asking for (thing) with the expectation that it would be interpreted as a request. During pregnancy and for three months after I tried to work things out with him but he was angry and inconsistent. Compromise means I know I want to be left alone to read my book at a certain point, but I also know that husband wants to get some attention and feel loved and important, and that kid wants to play together. And even then, I'd prefer my kids to call my dad or father. Listen to her as she talks about her own feelings. It really upsets me. When you want to succeed that bad then you will. Now I want a child that I can love and give what I've missed out on and seen others experience. People die unexpectedly sometimes, and it is a good idea to be prepared for that possibility. If you look in the mirror and see a man that you don’t want your daughter to be with then change because you’re the first man she will ever love and she will go into the world and find a man just like you. I also want to advise you against your plan of having him be a stranger that comes when the kids are in bed and is a reason for them to be quiet in the She’s told me before that in our homes they’re OUR kids. But I wasn’t about to have kids in my 20’s just for the sake of having them going when I knew I didn’t want HIS kids. Your family and friends love you and want to see you succeed, they'll support you through that. Wished me happy Father’s Day, the youngest was so sad that he couldn’t give me a Father’s Day present that he MADE for me. They want to know that they are beautiful and that you think they are a princess. It's breaking the cycle of bad fathering because you want to be a good father. He has severe anger issues. I wish I had a dad to keep me company and be my best friend. Still monotonous, but once they’re a touch older, you’ll all be sleeping, which makes a huge difference in and of itself, they’ll be more independent, they’ll play together, and you can more readily take them to do activities you are interested in. Dec 22, 2019 · Yes, there are a million things to do before your partner gives birth. Nonetheless, I always wanted to be the best dad ever. Initially you may find it relieving but later on you will regret that you wished for your dad's death. You need to start setting boundaries on your expectations of him to pull his weight. They dont want more fosters - just that the two mothers they have their current nine from are both sexually active and keep having more. My father may aswell have not being there at all when my siblings & I were growing up. I want to answer all her questions, but i feel like i’ll never be able to do that, like there’s a glass wall between us. What are the responsibilities? What are the emotions? Is there a major event in the first weeks? Newborns are hard. I don't want to be completely sleepless for a year. You get the cut the cord and also spend time "skin-to-skin" contact with your child. I wish I didn't feel so alone when I'm at home. While I don’t do everything a bio father would do for them, they really have grown to love and respect me. i hate my dad so much he cheated on my mother severely times isn’t understanding of my feelings forces me to do things i hate makes me feel like a loser i’m going to therapy due to the trauma HE mainly caused he doesn’t know how to talk to me without starting a problem i hate it i hating living in my house and i wanna kill myself it’s either me or him and nothing won’t change him he I resented those kids. It's kind of the best of both worlds. I don't want to be my dad. And is it what you both want at such a young age. You'll find there support and knowledge from people that were/are in your shoes. I believe in you. Being a dad is more than just being there, its about loving and caring for that little one as they grow and then mentor and nurture them into an independent, level headed Fellow single dad for almost 3 years now, it gets easier I promise. I want to respect her, but it's really hard when she tells me to come to her if I need guidance, but instead she yells at me about how I shouldn't have done something instead of fixing it. And if you really love him, I'd reccomend you, and possibly him going to therapy. Please read Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st and new posts at r/ModCord or r/Save3rdPartyApps for up-to-date information. I want my kids to actually be able to learn from the past. I do not want to be a resentful parent towards a child who is innocent. A good dad should not be thwarted because people are close minded. I've finally admitted it to myself that I regret becoming a father to my two year old little girl. becomes boring and you no longer get that dopamine high you used to, so you tend to start looking for the next big thing that can replace the high. It pains me to say this, but I do not want to take part. I think thats the only way it can really work. You will not be perfect. I feel the same way as the OP. If a couple does want kids and it's feasible for a parent to stay home, the dad can totally be the stay at home person. Please consider the therapy, and looking to others for help. His father was a piece of shit too. There are (or at least should be, not sure about the situation where you are) classes to be taken for pregnancy, giving birth and the time after. It’s okay to be stressed brother it’s okay to be scared. Bending over backwards for my wife and this family. But i want more, i want a lot of different things, i don't want kids, i don't want to live in the same place for 20 years, i don't want the life he has. Just disappear from their lives. The one who had the six was court ordered to have her tubes tied after baby five and still got pregnant a sixth time. I would definitely not focus on my career if I were you. His dad was a piece of shit who drank hard and cheated on my grandmother pretty regularly. You will be a father. Until then keep crying on the damn keyboard about how bad your fucking life is while your son who you think is watching Yo Gabba Gabba dvd's is really sitting there waiting for his dad to fucking make him laugh and make life The question isn't "Do I want to be a dad?". You’re already the father they need, just by being here, reaching out and searching for solutions with their best interest at heart. Edit: Thank you for the attention Then things started to change, and adoption by gays became more accepted. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't move away from him, you should surely but just not in the death form. To be clear, dad status is not a requirement. They would rather their child not have their father around and well off financially and not without some cool stuff than a father who is around a bunch, but the family suffers financially to where the father can't buy their kids the cool stuff they want. Stock up on Tums, Have a carseat ready and in the car. I don't think its a problem. Don't suffer in silence. If you want to be the father it's also your job to be there for her. And being a good father doesn't mean you always think your kid is the best -- it sounds like you're there for your wife and your son, which makes you a good father. If you have any reservations about fatherhood, then I would suggest some serious reflection on this matter. Then like two weeks after we buy the ring, my dad died out of nowhere. Maybe it’s time to grow up and put the video games away lol Want a better life for you and your son like a drowning man wants air. Even if I found out now, in my 30s! I can't even imagine it. He did absolutely nothing, just like your husband. We'll listen, and if you want, we'll talk. I'm a stay at home dad and it is way better than you can imagine. It will make a big difference. I know my dad loves me, he pays a ton of money as tution fees to get me into a private medical college even though we can barely afford it he did it because it was always my dream to become a doctor. I mean I want to be a man, a father, to my children. I'm lost now on what I want to do with my life the only thing I'm positive of is that I want to be a father. We both replied "Hi hungry I'm dad" in perfect sync. I’m trying to come up with birthday gifts for him, and he’s asked for “things that are good for new dads. But I am asking about the dad's singular experience. I also had to cut the gym. They'll want to sit on your lap and tell you stories about their day. I don't want to be moneyless for 18. I know he's concerned when I'm not feeling alright. We get nowhere the level of compassion mother's day gets. I want kids. Growing up I've seen him work hard as hell, over fixated to his job waking up at 8 am and starts working immediately until 12am. God willing, by Tuesday I will be a dad. I’ve struggled finding a decent man who wants anything remotely serious, much less get married & start a family. I’m sorry that you went through all of this but it sounds like you were able to get out and great a healthy family congrats! It sounds like you need to cut your father out though. It warms my heart to see how excited he is and I know he worries about being an older dad but I also know he will be a great father, he’s already an amazing one to my 2. There are constant fights between him and my mother when he's home. In fact, your experience of that pain could lead you to being not just a good father, but a truly awesome one. " Jul 14, 2022 · A dad took to Reddit to speak candidly about his difficult feelings on being a parent and the community came together to offer suggestions, support, general wisdom — and a surprising amount of You can call me a lot of things: Master, Alpha, Lord, basically a number of "I am the one who has control" things, but Daddy? The only time I want to hear "Daddy" is by someone I have literally fathered. It’s highly individual and varies over time. Also dad cards help if you're too shy asking a dude for his number. Oof. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Even though I would hardly see him home or even around his kids. My father was a single dad for most of my life too. They aren't afraid to wrestle and climb on top of the refrigerator. Don’t allow outside influence or opinions to make its way into your decision. Some examples of things he nags me about are how I make my bed, how I load the dishwasher, how I do other basic chores, how much coffee I drink (he thinks drinking more than one cup is horrible), my desires to go out and spend time with friends, what I wear, what I eat, what I want to buy, etc. I have friends who have kids and wish they never had them and it shows. Or not. At this point, your girlfriend might be more concerned with finding a good father and spouse and not properly assessing your needs and expectations. Now live with your decisions, and go be a good father because there is a little human developing that is dependent on its mother and its father to live to its fullest potential. I don't understand being a parent. Read a few good books about parenting in general. We aim to keep this a safe space. It was when I got a bit older that I had to watch them alone all the time because their father left us. My husband was a great dad at 21 while my own dad was pretty lousy when he had me at 27. I learned lies in history class, a lot of propaganda. Sister-in-law offers to vacuum for you? Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. I'd say 40 is probably at the edge of where you want to be. So here's the deal: cats have distinct personalities. She said "I said you're like a dad to me not my actual dad!". I want parents that frequently say they love me and that they want me to be the very best version of myself. Im 38 & he hasn't changed at all in terms of being a father. The big problem I have is a history of mental illness, to the point of being one thought away from suicide. Be the dad you wish you had when you were a kid, but also balance spoiling and discipline. Anyway, fast-forward 4. I decided to keep the pregnancy. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. The "love transference" thing is possibly something you're overthinking. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Talk to anyone who will listen and understand. But I definitely agree with the comments saying to tell your parents what's happening. ” I created an easily digestible list of things to do since you just found out you are going to be a dad. I just got out of a recent engagement and I’m a little bummed about it. My dad is a great man who worked his ass off and had 3 kids and he is mostly great. I don’t know why and I HATE the feeling. I'm not a parent but I was a kid and had several siblings. Ok so u have an extremely selfish father who is an asshole who you hate, still if he dies you think you will be relieved, but you won't. Any older than that and you might be screwing your kid out of time he could spend with Well, if my husband wanted to be a stay at home dad we better break up ASAP because I don't want children, and he can go and find a new relationship. I have done all the heavy lifting and sacrificing. Get a sense of what type of parent you want to be. The fact that you want to be a good dad and want to do your best to make sure this baby grows up ok is already a good sign that you'll do fine. I didn't want to be a father, but I became one. Loving #12. I feel like this is difficult to express because I don't mean in the "masculine" or "traditional" gender role(s) that a father would take on. I have never heard someone scream louder than this nor have I ever seen a faster mental breakdown. If you're a new dad, do it when you can. Other cats are a little more wild at heart, don't like being petted or picked up and see h My dad didn’t care or want to know me. She will naturally love the kids, funnily enough! I want them to grow up with critical thinking skills so they can avoid manipulation in life. Utilise the offers. His father's father probably wasn't a good one either. You made your choices. It might be possible to still see and talk to your mother (if you want to) and not your father, but that might put her in a complicated position. With that in mind here are a few tips that helped me. I also plan to accurately teach my kids history. You probably won't see this, but there are so many professional women who want families but don't want to sacrifice their career. Ultimately I'd like to leash train them and have a hiking buddy. They'll make you like a million 'special' drawings. What should I expect for the first weeks? I hear it is constant attention to the baby: diapers, cleaning, crying, feeding, sleeping, etc. Could also be where I live. I wish my mother would also be my friend. He pushed me to do a lot of things, but never the things that I really enjoyed. My dad was emotionally abusive (constantly put me down) and physically abusive from time to time. My (17f) dad (48m) nags me about literally everything and anything I do. H. When people become very wealthy, on the level where you can literally purchase anything you want, a couple of things can happen: Purchasing diamonds, Gucci suits, houses, (department stores, haha), etc. Edited to add that a dad is a dad no matter the blood. Sure, you have the choice to abandon your daughter and be a deadbeat if you want, but then you have to live with the fact you're a fucking deadbeat, child support or not. And you gals wonder why we go after younger women? Maybe they can actually give me fatherhood and family. And I can totally see why you may not being looking forward to the conversation, but they are your parents. Yeah you need to bring your A-game here] - Baby's finally born! It's a beautiful baby boy. The stress of providing and keeping your kids fed is If you want to be #1 dad then expect to be doing 50% of the work. Thats not wierd. My dad, instead, remains calm always and is always there to help me, no matter how serious or embarrassing the situation is. An easy way to put it is that I want to be a father, not a mother. I've loved my father more than anything else because almost never he has said something to me or scolded me, we both can be in peace if there's trouble in the house but I will not justify what he does, he has no reason to do these things and if he wanted to take revenge on something, he'd have to take it on the people who did things to him in As a dad of 2yr old and a 5month old I was terrified both times and honestly it’s that feeling that made me want to be a great dad. There is nothing better than to enjoy a beer with your adult son (21+ for the worriers) and he brings up some random good memory from childhood. You don’t want to be a dad, you want your husband to be a dad. We kept up the in sync dad jokes for about 5 minutes. Once in a while I kinda get sad that I'll never get to be a dad, but it passes quickly. It doesn't sound like you want him to be your dad, but that you just want to feel that type of love from him that you were supposed to get from your parents didn't. You got to be a family unit. The empathy and the kindness. It’s that feeling that will drive to be the best Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. My dad was stepdad to my two eldest siblings and even thiugh they also had their bio dad, our dad treated us all the same and we were all subject to the same rules and standards. Besides, men who are around 30 and now want kids have to deal with women our own age rapidly losing fertility. Your father wasn't a good father probably because he did not have a good one. Posted by u/Tirbune - 4 votes and 33 comments Me (male 22) and my wife (female 23) were married in august of 2021. 5 year old started walking/playing/climbing. The beautiful thing about life is you define how you want to perceive and live it. Therefore it's both logical and natural to want to be in a relationship with someone who wants the same. Talk. I always wanted to be a dad since I was 18 (31 now). Suppress your ego, get off center stage, and go be a husband and a father and help take care of your family now. I don't want kids either and every profile I come across state they want one! The ones who don't, specifically mention on the profile they're only interested in hookups. My sister thought she’d have a hard time getting pregnant as she’d been having sex with just condoms or just birth control pill (rarely both) for nearly two decades and with different guys, with no pregnancy scares, and she said she had always been worried because she wasn’t super careful (but she knew what she’d do if she got pregnant and We both replied "Hi hungry I'm dad" in perfect sync. He spent 12 years as a dad to my brother, and 6 to my sister, 0 to me. Best thing I ever did. A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. But yeah if things frustrate you this much, OP, perhaps it’s time to start being honest with your SO that you’re at the end of your rope. You don't want to return from the hospital to a dirty home, and you are NOT going to have time to clean afterwards. Rest assured you'll question yourself and your "dadability" at some point in time. I want to explain everything to her. Yeah it usually happens to women, but it can happen to men as well. And you should be able to duck under your partners umbrella. If you're still a pre-dad and not a new dad, doing this now is easier than doing it later. I think not moving in works for me, especially given that I don’t want to have kids of my own. My father didn't stick around and so I feel the pain and long term damage it can do. I want to front this post I'm trying to sort out a number of issues, and as with all these things it's never simple. Unfortunately, due to trauma sustained during puberty, and having to undergo HRT just to get my T levels to "normal" (as someone who was born a man), my seed is now sterile and so fatherhood is out of the question. If you are very concerned about further miscarriages please join ttc or rainbow baby communities (over the internet, not inky reddit). It DOES get better. I met him about 10 times after I turned 18, still not real interested in getting to know me. Just focus on your baby. I want to be someone's wife, sure, but not mother. My wife got me a book of science experiments you can do with kids and I’m so excited to show a little one how the world works. I mentioned this (me not wanting kids) to a guy friend and he said, "You're basically filtering out 90% of the good guys". "By how soon my kids became more intelligent than me. If you want to keep sending them money, you can do that, but make it clear there is no more contact with your parents. Since having her my position in society as a “white man” has been more evident than ever, and I want to understand her and what she goes through. I feel completely cheated. but i don't want kids. And gotten a bear and appetizers with them and their kids/wives after the park a couple times. I’m not sure what exactly I’m looking for with posting this- I think I just need to get it off of my chest. They're just as gross as little boys. I wish my mother would be interested in my life. Someone who said they cared about me did not communicate with me about the biggest thing in my life. We aren't besties, but I've shot them texts saying we're going to the park. Well, the first three things are avoided by adoption. For me that is my friends who are parents and my own Dad. However… Once you have repaired your relationship with each-other, it’ll give you the breathing room to focus on becoming the father you want for your children. The reality is, you and your gf need to discuss what life will be like with a child. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face palm then our community is ready to groan along with you. Congratulations!! Here’s my advice as a girl dad of 19 years. First, happy Father’s Day to all the dads. I am a dad and I am not yet ready for most days of being a dad. I would be absolutely crushed if my stepfather felt this way, personally. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, we all have had plenty, im sure all would agree. As for the eating, my kids were very hit or miss at 20 ESPECIALLY if their father is not in the picture or is not doing his job properly. Is your gf ok? Do you guys get any respite at all? You both need it. Guess what? - You're a father now!!! 😊😊😊😊😊 I'd like to point out that the ones that would "rather work" are probably because they want to be able to support their child. I just feel like I should love my kid and want to be a father like everyone else. It’s easy to think it’s mom’s ‘job’ but she knows just as little as you at this point. That was the question 4 years ago. So make sure you are doing your best to stay mindful and happy as an individual, and the tools to be a great dad will flow naturally. But for real, I don't know many stay at home dads, but I know a fair amount of dads who work for themselves (handyman etc) and they have dad groups but they're just not called dad groups. He always asks about my life, never talks about his. You don't want to pay $$$ for crappy door dash fast food. It was so important to him and you had no idea. Then, he would just respond with "and I want 44 million dollars!". You will make mistakes. The question now is "How am I going to be a dad, given the cards I was dealt?" The answer is with your personal strength, a loving and supportive wife, and therapy. My step dad doesnt want more than three kids to a room. By the time he's sleeping through the night and eating solid food and crawling around on shit I imagine you'll have a much different feeling towards him. It no longer matters if you want to be a dad, you're a fucking dad. My wife and I had our son 3 weeks ago, and I don’t think I’m cut out to be a dad like all of you. After seeing our child three times and a huge fight over his grossly inappropriate behavior, he texted me that he didn’t want to be a father and didn’t want me to bother him. (2) You can take the Reddit Nuclear Option TM route. Will show your post to my husband, he’s 46 and I’m about to give him his first biological child. I don't want to care for a helpless being for 2 years because I know I would fuck it up. tvdunw pbra zqhx cogm xnz gqody mrzrbmk fjpoc idvb bpczz